Dear Humans. This is Tank. You probably know me from hit Xbox 360 game Left 4 Dead. Well, Tank need to get something off chest. It make Tank sad that as soon as you see him, you start shooting at him. Tank not mindless killing machine. Sure, Tank enjoy smashing human skulls to paste. What 12-foot tall, 800 pound, horribly mutated creature wouldn’t? But there is another side to Tank. Tank also enjoy stamp collecting, scrapbooking, and updating blog under pen name “Love Muffin”. Tank took origami class once at adult-learning annex, but fingers to big, so Tank smash teacher. Got B-minus.

So, when you see Tank on the streets of city, instead of shooting, try asking Tank how day is going. You may find that you and Tank have more in common than you think. Of course, Tank will still smash you, but you will die having made new friend. And that make Tank happy.

-Tank